The U Continuum

Sunday Stealing: Who Are you? Part 7

Used without permission of Madison Latimer.

 
84. Describe the routine of a normal day for you: When the rooster crow at the break of dawn, look out your window and I’ll be gone. You’re the reason that I’m traveling on, but don’t think twice it’s all right. I meet a lot of one night stands.

85. What is your greatest strength as a person? Answering meme questions with Dylan’s lyrics.

86. What is your greatest weakness? Even Dylan sings better than I do.

87. Are you going to run for President in 2016? We didn't start the fire. It was always burning since the world's been turning. So, no. Great question though. “I’m running for President cause of I meme question from Mr. Lance. I thought, why not?”


88. Are you generally self-contained? I better be. No one else can do it.

89. Are you generally organized or messy? Really? Who’s asks this?

90. Name three things you consider yourself to be very good at, and three things you consider yourself to be very bad at: Good: Work, sex, sleep. Bad: The aforementioned singing, dealing with stupid people and dealing with Canadians who put extra “u’s” in their words.

91. Do you like your neighbours? Do they like you? See? What the fuck does he have a “u” there? Geez.

92. Are you different in public then you act among friends? No. I get drunk and watch football in public, too.

93. What goal do you most want to accomplish in your lifetime? See real life pix of all the meme players. Avatars suck. That’s why I use one, too.

94. Where do you see yourself in 4 years? Running for president or quoting Billy Joel’s lyrics. I owe it all to Sunday Stealing. Am I the only that notices how many “hosts” this memes got? First there’s Judd. And then somebody named after a fucking beer. But in the opening it says Lance is the host. Really. How many people does it take to write or steal twenty questions?

95. If you could choose, how would you want to leave this world? Hoping that the love I took was equal to the love I made.  

96. If you had only one week to live, what three things would be bumped up on the bucket list? There’s always that elusive drunken party I want to have with Cameron Diaz and two other things.

97. What is one thing about you that really stands out? Incredibly good looks and class. And of course, modesty.

98. What three words best describe your personality? Blow me. Go put a “u” in yourself.

99. What three words would others probably use to describe you? This meme is torture.

100. What advice do you have to give? Never play memes.

I'm Just Your Average Joe

Saturday 9: Good Morning Heartache

1) Do you come up with your brightest ideas early in the morning or late at night? Generally, my brilliance is exhibited at 3:33 AM or 3:33 PM. Go figure.

2) Are you more likely to feel romantic at night or in the morning? I’m a guy. We feel “romantic” 24 hours a day. It helps to have a beautiful lady present as well.

3) Do you shower in the morning, after work or before bed? All three. I’m clean of mind and body. Well, body anyway.

4) Billie Holiday was just 44 when she died. Is there an artist whose early demise surprised and saddened you? I have not still recovered from losing John Lennon in 1980. I don’t think I ever will.

5) Billie was known as "Lady Day." Do you have a cool nickname? (If not, feel free to give yourself one right now.) I once had a girlfriend who insisted on calling me “bud”. I said, “Fine name for a freaking beer. Can’t you just call me Joe?” She responded that “Joe” was too average, but guys called “bud” are brilliant. I think that was when I broke up with her.

6) When was the last time you had the blues? When my ex got married. She called me first and told me she was engaged. I asked if she called him Bud. She said his name was Joe & she loved it. I asked the obvious question. She said he was not your average Joe. That sucked moose.

7) Crazy Sam is eating Trader Joe's Snickerdoodles as she composes this. What's the last snack food you ate? Slim Jim Tabasco. I know it will kill me. But I’m just an average Joe so who cares.

8) Do you worry about preserving endangered species? Or do you believe in survival of the fittest? It depends on the species. Metro Mosquitoes? No. Some weird leopard in Russia, perhaps.

9) Would you ever hire a lawyer who runs commercials on TV? Do you know anyone who has? Yes. But that’s because I’ve acted in TV lawyer commercials. Not as the lawyer, but as a client. True story: The director said for us to make up a scene. The lawyer was a freaking moron. He asked, “Why are you seeing me?” I replied, “I’ve been arrested for murder.” He asked who murdered. I told him that I killed my ex-wife. He asked “why?” I said, “It was cheaper than child support.” The moron got this weird look and the director shouted, “Cut!” The director then yelled at the lawyer for laughing.

See you next time.

Question Asked and Answered

Sunday Stealing: Who Are you? Part 3 & 4 – Is it over yet?

Part 3: Past

34. What do you consider the most important event of your life so far? The night I was abducted by aliens. You might find this hard to believe, but they have no sense of humor.

35. What do you consider your greatest achievement? Guessing which escape pod would land me back in my bed.

36. What is your greatest regret? Not knowing what ever happened to my alien son.

37. What is the most evil thing you have ever done? Digging a hole in the sand as a kid to find out what hell is like. You’d never believe how far I dug to discover so little.

38. When was the time you were the most frightened? Recently when I was watching American Horror Story and the woman lost her legs.

39. What is your best memory? Taking Alanis Morrisette to a movie.

Part 4: Beliefs And Opinions

40. Are you basically optimistic or pessimistic? I’m rather pessimistic about my optimism.

41. What is your greatest fear? We have nothing to fear but fear itself and Mitt Romney.

42. What are your religious views? If I ever have one I will get back to you. ‘K?

43. State a random opinion? Fox News is an opiate to placate the masses into believing that they too can become one of the 1%.

44. What are your views on sex? Are you looking for pictures here?

45. Are you able to cook? No. I like my food prepared by someone who knows what he or she are doing.

46. In your opinion, what is the most evil thing any human being could do? Write a blog.

47. Do you believe in the existence of soul mates and/or true love? Yes.

48. What do you believe makes a successful life? Landing on Park Place and Boardwalk on the same trip.

49. How honest are you about your thoughts and feelings? I should keep more opinions to myself.

50. Do you have any biases or prejudices? Only against mean people.

51. Is there anything you absolutely refuse to do under any circumstances? Why do you refuse to do it? I would refuse anything or anyone who was ordering me to do anything.

52. Who or what, if anything, would you die for (or otherwise go to extremes for)?
Friends, family, and my people. A major miss here. You should proof this stuff. You gave us both the question and the answer. My first time here and even I can see that. But also, why are there a bride and groom on this page? Strange meme place, for sure.

See you next time.

Here's Looking at You, Kid

 Saturday 9: Key Largo

1) This song was inspired by the Bogart/Bacall movie of the same name. Do you have a favorite Humphrey Bogart film? Which one? Casablanca is one of the best films of all time. I always thought it was interesting how they shot two endings and went with the sad one.

2) Where do you rent movies? (Netflix, Redbox, OnDemand, etc.) A little bit of everything.

3) Have you ever been to the Florida Keys? Nope. Been to Orient Beach?

4) According to government statistics, more than half the people who currently live in Florida were born in another state. Were you born in the state where you currently live? Yes.

5) To be honest, Crazy Sam really hates this week's featured song. (Hear it here.) Do you like it? Loathe it? Or are you unfamiliar with it? I did not remember it till I heard the chorus. Top 40 schlock. But very "catchy". Can you dance to it?

6) Local authorities in a suburb of Sydney blasted Barry Manilow songs into a neighborhood park to keep "hooligans" away after dark. Is there an artist or song that would make you run in the other direction? Just about anything rap.

7) Two of the most common fears are going to the dentist and speaking in public. Do either of those really get under your skin? No.

8) We're having burgers. What do you want on yours? Two all beef patties, cheese, pickles, special sauce on  sesame seed  bun.

9) Here's your chance to do a shameless plug -- What charity or cause do you wish got more support? Obama. Let him complete his job.

See you next time.

You Never Know Who's Watching

Rules I've learned this week:

Don't tell you boss that her low cut dress was awesome.

Never tell a customer to go screw.

No matter where you go there you are.